Conkers or just bonkers - we blame compo culture!

Conkers or bonkers? The Grumpies say compensation culture has led to a raft of health and safety legislation that, in their opinion, can frequently defy logic
Conkers or bonkers? The Grumpies say compensation culture has led to a raft of health and safety legislation that, in their opinion, can frequently defy logic

TODMORDEN’S Old Grumpies hit the mark with their comments about Todmorden’s postcode designation last month - this time around they’ve turned their attention to the topic of health and safety.

Not that it’s always a bad thing - but it does have some strange contradictions, they agreed.

One member said he had been visited by an official who told him that the hawthorn trees in his garden required the tops trimming as they were under some power cables.

The reason was “that someone might climb the trees and touch the wires”.

That seemed very unlikely but access was agreed. Some time later the workmen arrived and started cutting the trees down at ground level.

When stopped and asked why as agreed they were not just trimming the tops, they replied: “you don’t expect us to climb hawthorn trees, do you?”

The letter asking for clarification as to which version was correct has not yet received a reply.

Dentists were ordered to use diposable plastic cups instead of glass tumblers for patients to rinse out. This was “to prevent the spread of infection”.

Millions and millions of plastic cups later, the patient can leave the surgery, go into a pub, and drink and swallow the contents from what? A rarely clean glass tumbler, one of the grumpies added.

Butchers have been swamped with especially European legislation regarding surfaces and contact with meat. Then they handle the money received and the change given.

Playing conkers and even walking under chestnut trees can be considered dangerous.

If you are to climb a ladder higher than a few feet you have to have something at the bottom of the ladder, presumably to fall on.

Yes, it’s all the fault of the “compensation culture” - and the grumpies say if any lawyers are reading this there are many reasons for it.

If they aren’t, it is entirely their fault!

l IT’S topical at the moment, and the grumpies tested the ground on the battle of the sexes.

Agreement was quickly reached that out of necessity partners needed their symbiotic relationship.

How could a man avoid the trouble associated with ignorant complacency if he were not reminded of his many faults and failings? He would drift into a life of independence, self-satisfaction and contentment, never eating another salad but totally unaware of the dangers of moral and physical neglect.

They accepted they fall into the traps the ladies set them far too easily. “When they identify the jobs that need doing around the house they will say ‘don’t worry dear, you won’t know how to do it and you’re too old.’

“Yes, we all admitted falling for that one!

“Our conclusion was that provided we remember that the two words which make for a happy relationship are ‘yes, dear’ - there can be no winner in the contest. Where would we find any impartial judges?” they concluded.

l THE Old Grumpies are a group of friends who meet a couple of times a month, and confess there is a touch of Last Of The Summer Wine about their relationships, are totally male dominated and say they will be identified by many as holding views ending in “...ists” but, said their spokesman, “we will only accept that we are experienced realists.”

What do you think about the grumpies’ opinions on health and safety legislation - has it gone too far and is it a by-product of compensation culture?

And how have the grumpy combatants fared in the battle of the sexes?

Email your views to