LAST month we announced the start of our search for runners and riders for our top ten grumbles.
Some readers have already been sending in some of their ideas and we promised we’d give you a few ideas this month.
These are some of the little annoyances which in the overall scheme of things are of minor insignificance, but they are the sort of thing that would drive the patron saint of old grumpies, Victor Meldrew of television’s One Foot In The Grave, and indeed ourselves, quite mad.
So, as the Mikado put it, “We’ve got ‘em on the list” - and you could help us add to it. Here are a few things, for starters.
People who say they give 110 per cent - impossible.
The celebrity who starts the draw for the National Lottery and says “good luck everyone” - how can that happen?
Weather forecasters who seem to take sadistic pleasure in announcing terrible weather ahead.
People who call everyone “guys”. Has the dictionary definition changed?
Canned laughter on TV which is switched to prolongued for no apparent reason - we will decide if it’s funny, thank you.
Footballers who fall over, and their managers who display acute visual awareness one moment and temprorary blindness shortly afterwards.
People who buy scrap metal from strangers and don’t ask questions like “And where did you get three miles of copper wire from..?”
Motorists who open their windows because they think the world wants to listen to their music. We don’t.
The hyprocrisy of politicians who only see faults in the other parties. Just read Letters to the Editor in most papers.
The assumption that we are paedophiles unless we can wave a piece of paper to prove that we are not - we thought British justice worked the other way round.
If you want to get annoyed, then take a walk on the canal bank.
But tread carefully. Some dog owners are a disgrace.
Litter louts who can’t walk a few yards to the bin and equally obnoxious chewing gum spitters. We have a suggestion as to where they could stick their gum.
People who claim that they “have rights” but deny they have obligations.
Scaffolding around the Town Hall.
Road users who do not acknowledge your courtesy when you’ve given way or stop.
08 and 09 telephone numbers which you ring and are told your call is important to them, that your call may be used for training purposes, that the operators are dealing with an unusual number of calls at the moment but will be with you shortly.
You then have to listen to music which you certainly wouldn’t take with you to a desert island. Check your phone bills and you may come to the conclusion that the delay is deliberate.
Refuse collectors who rarely return the bins to their original positions.
Does anyone think the new system is an improvement on the old one? Were we promised an inquiry into how the contract was taken away from Kerbside? Yes! Have we had one? No!
People who claim they are offended by the most innocuous of remarks. If we have offended anyone with this list, good.
But top of our list are the people who are always complaining. Nothing is right.
Why don’t they realise how lucky they are to live in such a wonderful place and appreciate their blessings!
l KEEP your favourite grumbles coming - you can get them to the Old Grumpies via the Todmorden News - drop them off at or post them to our offices in Fielden Square, Rochdale Road, Todmorden, Lancs, OL14 7LD, or you can email them to firstname.lastname@example.org