I’m no Grumpy but Skyjuice and his gibberish is a waste of space

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DOES “Ruben Skyjuice” think he’s being funny or informative with the gibberish and nonsense in the column of wasted space he takes up in your tome?

Sorry (and pardon the Norse slang) but many of us think “pillock” or “good job they don’t pay him, but how come they give him the space, even if for no pay? It could be put to genuine use.”

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of the local “grumpies” and I have got a sense of homour, but this column is total rubbish. As the “Funky Gibberish” poem you printed a few weeks ago said, it’s a good job it’s done for no pay or the Trade Descriptions Act might come into play, eh?

Hey ansd wasn’t HE grumpy in the August 18 issue? It was like he was wearing socks full of brambles and thistles. Shame they weren’t in his velvet codpiece. It’s enough to make me yearn for the times when they ducked or burned witches. Problem solved - grinning soon gone.

If he “divines” my date/year of birth/starsign from this letter then I promise I’ll shut up. And to anyone who thinks it’s “just a bit of fun”, no it isn’t, it’s just a load of codpieces!

Life On Mars, Cornholme